www.ThePamperedPrisoner.com
~Tips for Writing to Inmates~
Please remember that writing to an inmate is
a commitment. These men and women are so very lonely. Most have lost all contact with family and
friends. It is difficult to form a solid friendship behind bars, just as it is difficult for them
to trust again. Many want to start a relationship, many just want a friend. Someone who will listen
and let them feel special and needed. They have precious little in prison. A friend is so special
to them, they treasure this friendship and become incredibly protective of mail, pictures and
anything associated with their friend. Receiving a letter helps them escape where they are
if only for a while.
If this is your first time writing to an inmate, you may be
apprehensive about what lies ahead. You will meet all kinds of people, just as we do on the
outside, some you will find you like right away and others you may not wish to write to again.
Don't give up if you do not "click" with someone right away, you can always try writing to
someone else.
You might want to use a Post Office box until you feel more
comfortable sharing your home address. You may also choose not to give out your phone number
until you have been corresponding for a while. The cost of a phone call will be yours, inmates
may only call collect.
Honesty is important. Inmates do not trust very easily,
you may find it takes a while for some to open up. Others are so anxious to talk to someone
again that their thoughts are everywhere, their excitement is just too much to handle. If
you don't want to divulge too much about yourself, that is your option but please remember
to be honest about everything. They may want to know why you are choosing to write to an inmate.
They find it hard to believe they have found a friend in someone they have never met when
often their own families no longer are a part of their lives. They may want to know if you
are available for a relationship.
Many consider their crime to be personal. They may not want to share
this information in a first letter. If they invite you to ask questions, by all means ask. If you wish
to verify the crime of a pen pal, you can check on the State Doc Sites.
Inmates are so happy with the smallest of gestures. Their lives
have been so bare of all the beautiful things in life that it is thrilling for them to hear things
you might consider mundane. They love to receive pictures (some prisons have restrictions on the
size and number that may be sent in at one time). They also love to hear about your day, even
if it is just a trip to the grocery store.
Remember to send birthday cards, thinking of you cards and cards
to celebrate the holidays. Many times, you'll find a prisoner has not received a card for any
occasion for many years.
People writing to inmates do so for many different reasons.
It is easiest when writing your first letter to let your pen pal know what the boundaries
are so there are no misunderstandings later. If you are offering friendship only, and are
happily married then try to select a prisoner who is looking for a friend only. If you are
available for a relationship, then let them know. If you do not wish to be asked for money
or your phone number, just let them know. Most will abide by your needs providing you are
clear from the beginning.
Writing to an inmate can be a wonderful feeling. Very strong
friendships are made through letters and you'll find you are just as excited as they are to
receive mail. This is fun, rewarding and easy to do. So please pick up a pen and make a prisoner
smile today! You'll be happy you did.
Try to use fun, colorful stationery. They don't see much
that is beautiful inside and love to receive pretty cards and stationery. White out,
perfume, tape, glue, and stickers are not allowed (on either envelopes or letters)
in many prisons. Find out the rules before using any to ensure your letter will be delivered.
It's important not to write to more than one person in each
prison unless you have asked. They don't have much to call their own and so become very
protective and jealous of their few friends.
Contact us by
email or write to us at either address below:
PO Box 141
Okotoks, AB., Canada T1S 1A4
or
PMB #120 - 9220 SW Barbur Blvd. Suite 119
Portland, OR. USA 97219
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